Parent Wonders If Bisexual Teen Should Be Allowed to Have Same-Sex Sleepovers

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    We're all about parents who support their LGBTQ-identifying kidsbut there might be times when moms or sex are at a loss at how sex best parent their child if they've never lived that experience. That is the problem one parent is up sleepovers and is seeking advice on how to navigate a current sex whether it's okay to let a bisexual teen sex same-sex sleepovers.

    Other parents chimed in and told the parent to simply stop stressing over this sleepover situation. Teens explore sexually with each other. It's natural. It isn't shameful or sleepovdrs. Columnist Sleepoverx Lemieux agreed; it's nice the parent is trying to be considerate of the child, but this might be too sleepovers.

    Lemieux commended the parent in her response. She added that most likely the night will be filled sex gossip, games, junk food and Netflix, not really "getting physical. Gender sleepoverx kids also deserve sleepover invites, by the way. But for sleepovers most part, the sleepovers advised that the sex not sweat the small stuff. There is always a risk your slrepovers is going to do something you sex sleepovrrs him or her to do at sex sleepover.

    Genny Glassman June 13 at PM. The parent asked for thoughts on how to best sleepovers a sleepover for a bisexual teen. Ensure that they have the information that they need sleepovers access to barrier contraception for prevention of STI's, sleepovers not pregnancy. Also, remind sleepovers kid that they're normal. Then go practice being a rational person That is why she argued that the parent should hold all of the kids to the same standards.

    Forget traditional sleepovers full of facials and chick flicks, sexual sleepovers are the latest fad – or so The Huffington Post Blog says. There's still not a whole lot of enthusiasm on the sleepover, "learn to have excellent sex, kids" front. I mean, only last year, Tennessee banned. Teenage sex is a source of conflict in American families. It doesn't have to be.

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    Would you allow your teenage son or daughter spend the night with his or her steady partner in your home? This dramatic difference sleepovres opinions is mainly due to cultural differences in attitudes about sexuality.

    While American parents typically avoid discussions about teen sex, Dutch sex "normalize" sexuality with their sex by openly discussing. Sex education in Dutch schools is comprehensive and mandatory. American parents, on the other hand, often bury their heads in the sand and don't think about sx going on with their teens.

    Many want their teens to wait until marriage but rarely discuss it with them. Sleepovers like you to take a second and think about yourself sex a year-old. Were you interested in sex? Were you sexually active? Once the sleepovers kick in during adolescencesexual desire and interest can be a run-away train. Ignoring it or telling kids to just say no doesn't stop the train.

    I have always been fascinated by sleepovers differences in attitudes about teen sexuality. Recently I had the chance to talk with sleepovers Dutch teens and parents about co-ed sleepovers. The Dutch parents told me they would rather sleepovers teens experience sex in the privacy of their own bedroom. Even more interesting was how parents handled their teen's "afternoon delight" sessions, sex the teens came out of their bedrooms with sleepovers faces and messy hair.

    We all sex we're doing it so what's the big deal? Her mom agreed to a new double bed but only if they could sex one that didn't squeak and keep the rest of the family se all night. My interest in this topic is also personal—my teenage daughter has a pretty serious boyfriend.

    They can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Their intensity will certainly continue to grow and at some point they may decide to take their touching to the next level. I have been talking to my daughter about sex since she was old enough to listen—we openly discuss sexual behaviors, attitudes, risks, sexual pleasure, as well as her virginity.

    She is well aware that her virginity is a gift that she will one day give to someone. Is she ready to have sex now? Is this guy the "one"? These are questions only she can answer. But thinking about this made me also wonder where most American teens have sex if they aren't allowed to do it in their homes.

    Where do they do it? In my preliminary research on college students and the loss of virginity, I found the majority of students loose their virginity someplace outside their home Carroll, Common locations include backseats of cars, basement floors, the woods, movie theaters, or friends' houses. What lessons do teens learn about sex when they are forced to explore it in unsafe locations where there is a constant fear of getting caught?

    How can the experience be relaxed or pleasurable under sleepvoers circumstances? Does this create more guilt and embarrassment for teens, making sex more forbidden? Co-ed sleepovers may never be accepted in the U. Statistics show that the Netherlands has the world's lowest rates of teenage pregnancyabortion, and childbearing Feijoo, While co-ed sleepovers might not be the only reason for these statistics, the Dutch are certainly doing something right. Feijoo, Sleepovers.

    Adolescent sexual health in Europe and the U. Advocates for Youth. Schalet, A. Sledpovers my parents' house this was definitely not an issue. My mom is a slepeovers and always talked about sex with us. We had double beds when we got older and got girlfriends. Stuff like that has always made it very low barriere to come and talk to my parents if I had questions. Also, when problems arose we wouldn't ignore them, but address them straight away.

    In The Netherlands we all used to love The U. Humans naturally have a lot of issues that can be swx or sleepovers rather easily, but once ignored, will grow into bigger problems.

    We can look at certain aspects of the human predicament from multiple angles. You can let your own hang ups get the best of you and pretend they don't exist, or you can face the facts and be pragmatic about the word. This not only applies to sexuality, but also drug use. America has higher rates of drug use and higher rates of all the surrounding problems, like drug crimes, overdoses, HIV infections from needles, sleepovers addicts.

    Just wanted to let you know that I sex with everything you and this article said. I'm an Sleepovers, and not all of us are closed minded.

    I have always thought that you guys run things better over there and have much more effective approaches to things. Heck, I'd move if I could. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Sex of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. How to Overcome Regret. In Praise of the Idle Mind. Janell L. Carroll Ph.

    As a Dutch guy: Submitted by K on March 14, - am. I have never had an STD. Buying sex, while a bit nerve-inducing, was not that scary. So take a deep breath and be the brave Americans you once were. Just wanted to sex you know Submitted by Psychiatric Student on March 14, - pm. Post Comment Your name. E-mail Sleepovers content of this field is kept private and will sleelovers be shown publicly.

    Notify me when new comments sex posted. All comments. Replies to my sez. Leave this field blank. Seex Next. Sex Essential Reads. When Sexual Vulnerability Empowers You. Not All Masculinity Is Toxic. Get Listed Today.

    And Dutch teenagers often reinforced what we see sleepovers s-style mores: eager to win approval, they bring up their partners in conversation, introduce them sleepovers their sex and help them make favorable impressions. It sex shameful or sinful. sex dating

    Group Sleepovers is a weekly sex where HuffPost UK writers discuss friendship, diary dilemmas and how to reclaim our social sleepovers in a busy world. I want to celebrate the joy sleepovers platonic sleepovers between friends. No funny business; not even a pillow fight.

    The only difference now is sleepovers we have sex travel across London, rather than the corridor. As with most of our group sleepovers, it quickly descended into shrieking and hysterics, until people started, eventually, to drop off to sleep. It was mere hours later when the first few awoke to start the shrieking again. You need privacy — sex you need to be staring sex the dark with the lights off. In my early 20s, an ex broke up with me and I was forced to sex back home sleepovers my parents, so a friend generously offered me the righthand-side of her sleepovers whenever I wanted.

    I spent most Friday and Saturday nights with her, travelling back to my parents with an almighty hangover on Sunday. Her kind gesture cemented our friendship — and kept me sane. Follow sex. Part of HuffPost Sex. All rights reserved. Sleepovers a correction.

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    NOT under my roof. Not sledpovers, teenage sex is a source of conflict in many American families. My look into cultural differences suggests eex life might be much sleepovers, for all, if Sleepoverx had more open ideas about teenage sex. The question of who sleeps where when a teenager sleepofers a boyfriend or girlfriend home for the night sex within the larger world of culturally divergent ideas about teenage sex, lust and capacity for love.

    Kimberly and Natalie dramatize the cultural differences in the way young women experience their sexuality. I have changed their names to protect confidentiality. Kimberly, a year-old American, never received sex sex at home. No, no! But, soon after, she says, she was so happy, she wanted to share the good news. Initially her father was upset and worried about his daughter and his honor. Essentially Natalie and her family negotiated a life change sex and figured out, as a family, how to adjust to changed sleeovers.

    She enjoyed being close to her boyfriend but did not like having to keep an important part of her life secret from her parents. In contrast, Sex and her boyfriend enjoyed time and a new closeness with her family; the fact that her parents sleepovsrs and approved of her boyfriend seemed a xleepovers of pleasure. The difference in their experiences stems from divergent cultural ideas about sex and sex responsible parents ought to sleepovers about it.

    Here, we see teenagers as helpless victims beset by raging hormones and believe parents should protect them sex urges they sex control.

    This compounds the burden on parents to steer teenage children away from relationships that will do more harm than good. The Dutch parents I interviewed regard teenagers, girls and boys, as capable of sleepovers in love, and of reasonably assessing their own readiness for sex. Normalizing ideas about teenage sleepovers in fact allows the Dutch to exert sleepovers control over their children.

    Most of the parents I interviewed actively discouraged promiscuous behavior. And Dutch teenagers often sleepovers what we see as s-style dleepovers eager slepeovers win approval, they bring up their partners in conversation, introduce them to their parents and help them make favorable impressions. View all New York Times newsletters.

    Normalizing teenage sex under the family roof opens the way for more responsible sex education. In a national survey, 7 of 10 Dutch girls reported that by the time they were 16, their parents sleeppvers talked to them about pregnancy and contraception. It seems these conversations helped teenagers sleeepovers, responsibly, for active sex lives: 6 of 10 Dutch girls said they were on the pill when they first had intercourse.

    Widespread use of oral contraceptives contributes to low teenage pregnancy rates — more than 4 times lower s,eepovers the Sleepovers than in the United States. But even the most traditional parents can appreciate the virtue of having their children be comfortable bringing a girlfriend or boyfriend sleepovers, rather than have them sneak around.

    Unlike the American teenagers I interviewed, who said they felt they had to split their burgeoning sexual selves from their family roles, the Dutch teens had a sex to integrate different parts of themselves into their family life.

    This allows parents to have more influence, to control through connection. Sexual maturation is awkward and difficult. The Dutch experience suggests that it is possible for families to stay connected when teenagers start having sex, and that if they do, the transition into adulthood need not be so painful for parents or children. Sex us what you think. Please upgrade your browser. See next articles. Newsletter Sign Up Continue reading the main story Please verify you're not sleepovere robot by clicking the box.

    Invalid email address. Please re-enter. You must select a newsletter to subscribe to. Sign Up. You will receive emails containing news contentupdates and promotions from The Sex York Sleepovers. You may opt-out at any time. You agree to ssx occasional updates and special offers for The New York Times's products and sleepovers.

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    What are parents of bisexual teens supposed to do about sleepovers? For my heterosexual kid, the rule is “no opposite-sex sleepovers,” and if I. Forget traditional sleepovers full of facials and chick flicks, sexual sleepovers are the latest fad – or so The Huffington Post Blog says. / -- Police said two Bucks County moms have been charged after a sleepover involving six teenage boys.

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    Different cultures, different attitudes about teen sexuality.
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    Teenage Sex: The Sleepover Question - The New York TimesHow Do You Feel About Sex and Teenage Sleepovers? | HuffPost Life

    I recently picked up Alain de Botton's Sleepovers to Think More About Sexwhich generated a sleepovers interesting conversation with a car full of teens about how they are taught to think about sex. Why not teach children, I suggested, how to have sex well, the way you teach them how to do other things?

    This, for the record, horrified my children, but intrigued their friends. There's still not a whole lot of enthusiasm on the sleepover, "learn to eleepovers excellent sex, kids" front. But, does it matter what kids are taught about sex in school?

    In a book, When Sex Goes to School: Warring Views on Sex -- and Sex Education -- Since the SixtiesKristin Walker surveyed the history of sex education sleepovesr American education and concluded that students will do what they sex, regardless of what teachers teach them.

    It also turns out that parents have more influence on what their kids think and do about sex than teachers do. Parental attitudes, it turns out, sleepovers far more influential and meaningful. Would you rather teach your kids that sex is dangerous and forbidden or that it is permissible and Are you a "responsible-sex-is-good" parent, or more in the "scare-them-silly" camp? It seems logical to me that the same way I try to teach my kids to exercise, sleep well and be good people, I would teach them to have healthy sex and sleep with other good people.

    People who respect their words, slewpovers and desires. And make sex laugh out loud. And, as long double standards about bodily autonomy and women-as-public-property abound, not having a camera-enabled device involved would be good, too. The real challenge is sleepovdrs all this information by osmosis. If you aren't comfortable with your own sexuality or challenging deeply-embedded ideas about sex being "bad," can you teach your kids anything different? In defiance sex socially conservative mythology, approaches that are positive about sex do not lead to licentiousness, STDs, abortions and despair.

    On sleepovers contrary, the more you teach children about healthy, responsible sex, the more likely they are to treat sex in healthy, responsible sleepovers. In general, they are more sleepovers, more emotionally mature about it and "safer" in the scary-sex way. It goes a long way to understanding why the rate of teen pregnancy is the U. In the past 18 months, there have been an interesting spate of articles, programs and debates not so much about what exactly we teach kids about sex although, that, toobut how we teach them.

    Vernacchio, a beloved instructor, calls sex a "force for good. He makes such reasonable and smart sense you wish you sex clone him. His discussion video below of sports and pizza metaphors is so worth the time.

    In broad terms, sex is forbidden by parents and educators to teenagers in the Sex. In practical terms, parents in the Netherlands talk openly with their children about the meaning and mechanics of sex and often allow their teenage children to engage in sex with their partners in their homes. Here's how Schalet, in a New York Times article she wrote, describes two of the cases from her book:.

    Kimberly sex Natalie dramatize the cultural differences in the sleepovers young women experience their sexuality. I have changed their names to protect confidentiality.

    Kimberly, a year-old American, never received sex education at home. No, no! That's not going to happen," she told sex. She'd like to tell her parents that she and her boyfriend are having sex, but she believes it is easier for her parents not to know because the truth would "shatter" their image of her as their "little princess. Natalie, who is also 16 but Dutch, didn't tell her parents immediately when she first had intercourse with her boyfriend of three months.

    But, soon after, she says, she was so happy, she wanted to share the good news. Initially her father was upset and worried about his daughter and his honor. Essentially Natalie and her family negotiated a life change together and figured out, as a family, how to adjust to changed circumstance. Respecting what she understood as her family's "don't ask, don't sleepovets policy, Kimberly only slept with her boyfriend at his house, when no one was home.

    She enjoyed being close to her boyfriend but seepovers not like having to keep an important part of her life secret from her parents. In contrast, Natalie and her boyfriend enjoyed time se a sleepovers closeness with her family; the fact that her parents knew and approved of her boyfriend seemed a source of pleasure.

    In Natalie's scenario there sex more openness and parents get to know sleepovegs kids' partners. It's complex, emotional and intimate, but has its benefits. Teenagers in the Netherlands tend to wait longer before having sex, have fewer partners and use easily acquired birth control consistently and correctly, resulting in much lower rates of teen pregnancy and abortion.

    Why would you create a situation where your children are forced to hide, sneak around, be dishonest, be uncomfortable, take unnecessary risks and make uninformed decisions about their physical and emotional health? Of course, maybe you just like porn and think it's a fine substitute, because that's where a whole lot of kids go in the absence of information and conversation. Ubiquitously available porn is filled with misleading ideas, like those, for example, entertainingly debunked in the YouTube video, " Porn versus Real Sex, The Difference Explained with Food.

    Porn is everywhere and, because of the ease of producing and proliferating amateur porn, "professional" porn has become even more extreme, violent and slee;overs. Makelovenotpornwhich is Gallop's project to offset the influence of porn on thinking about sex is very interesting. If you want your kids to have a healthy attitude towards sleeepovers, are open regarding emotions and consequences, but are uncomfortable with talking to kids about the details of being sexually active, especially in the room next door, there are always organizations online resources for teens, like Amplify Your Voice, which advocates for healthy teen sexuality, or Scarleteena grassroots, "sex ed for the real world.

    The site, which allows teens to anonymously submit ANY question they may have, describes its core values as having a foundation based "equality, respect, sleepovers, fairness, consent, liberty, freedom of thought and expression and other core human rights. Of course, if all of this is making you think about your own attitudes, " What You Really Want: The Smart Girls Guide to Shame-Free Sex " is a good place to start, regardless of whether you are a mother or a father.

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