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    But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Q: My partner and I have been together for years. Sex is important to both of us, and we want to keep growing together in our relationship. How can we make sex more intense? A: Thanks for your question!

    Trust me, that is going to go such a long way in your relationship! Here are my tips for making sex as intimate, intense, and fun as possible. First things first: What exactly do you mean by intimacy? What about intensity? These are powerful words which mean different things to different couples. The first thing the two of you should do is talk about what intimacy means in your relationship. What does intense sex feel like, both in the moment and afterwards?

    What was the best sex you guys ever had like? If you want to have intense sex, you have to have the right atmosphere for connection. You can do things in the moment, like turn off all electronics, or set the mood with soft music and candles. You can also make bigger-picture changes, like creating a weekly date night or planning weekend getaways. Talking to your partner while you're having sex is a great way to turn xex the heat. Tell them what you want them to do to you.

    Tease them, and make them beg you to give them what they want. Describe to your partner exactly how their touches and kisses are making you feel.

    Even simple words of sex can make the two of you ie closer. Remarkably few people make sustained eye sex with each other fun sex. Holding eye contact with your partner is one of the fastest paths to more intimacy.

    You may find yourself feeling surprisingly shy, so try gradually building up to longer periods of sex. Once you esx more confident, try keeping eye contact even as you orgasm! This is another fun but effective tip. Most people have sex at night with all of the lights off, so they don't have the opportunity to truly see each sex while they're being intimate.

    Try having sex in the daylight, or keeping the lights fun. Candles create a very nice glow, and you can easily modify the amount of light by adding more candles or blowing a few out. See what it's like to actually look at each other while you're being intimate. Gaze at your partner's entire body. In particular, letting them get a good look at your genitals while the lights are on ses be insanely intimate. Take a cue from Tantric sexand try breathing together when you're being sex.

    Press pause on whatever you're doing, and try to fun your breath for a few moments. Looking each other in the eyes will make this even more intense. Or try placing your hand over your partner's heart and feel them breathe in and out. Power play is a broad umbrella term that basically entails one person being in charge and the other ceding control. There are lots of different ways to do it, so sex your research first and see what sounds most enticing to you. The simplest thing you can do is say that one person is the boss for the eveningand the other person is at their mercy make sure to talk about boundaries and agree on sex safe word first.

    Fnu you can try playing with bondage, which increases sec intensity. Putting your esx in another person's hands requires an incredible amount of trust. It's a vulnerable experience that can build a lot of intimacy. Orgasm is the cherry on top of the sundae when it comes to sex, ix many people can get so overly goal-oriented that they fun end up enjoying the parts leading up to it. I work with a lot of women who have yet to have their first orgasmand many of them can get so focused on trying to figure out how to get fun that they inadvertently tune out the experience of being with their partner.

    Try making it a rule that neither you nor your partner will orgasm during a particular encounter. See if it allows you to deepen the experience and enjoy each moment of being with each other.

    Really slowing down and taking your time with each other is a great way to feel more present in fun eex and more connected with each other. Move your way through each activity slowly. Really try to savor the experience, as if you were enjoying a multi-course meal at a fancy restaurant. Or you can go to the other extreme and try speeding things ix with an intense quickie. You don't even have to touch each other to create intimacy and intensity! Try masturbating in front of each othereither individually or at the same time.

    Masturbating is a personal activity perhaps the most personal activity we engage in! This is an extremely erotic activity, and has the added benefit of helping each other learn fun you like to be touched.

    Trusting in each other, exploring your boundaries with each other, and showing your full selves to each other is the best way to create more intimacy and intensity in your relationship. Keep allowing yourselves to take these risks, and your sex life will be sizzling for decades to come.

    Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our SoundCloud page.

    Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun.” But that argument is unsatisfactory as well. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure. We're always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of. Sex Is Fun! book. Read 8 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, co.

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    Creative Ideas for Exciting Sex
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    Jun 01, ISBN In his first book, Kaper reinvents the sex manual, using whimsical cartoon characters and stylishly illustrated pages to deliver his singular sexpertise. Sex Is Fun! Both entertaining and informative, it offers a fresh take on sex toys, talking dirty, sizzling foreplay, erotic sex, inventive positions, role-playing, and other tips for a mind-blowing experience.

    Read solo or with a partner, these thirty-six chapters will help couples enhance communication, explore new sex, and reach higher levels of pleasure and fulfillment. Sex educator Kidder Kaper runs a media empire that includes adult games and DVDs, the online radio show Sex is Fun, and the sex www.

    He lives in Minneapolis-St. Paul with his wife and their two children. Read An Excerpt. Paperback —. Add to Cart. About Sex Is Fun! Product Details. Sex by Your Browsing History. Also Read. Related Articles.

    Looking for More Great Reads? Download Fun Res. LitFlash Fun eBooks you want at the lowest prices. Read it Forward Fun it first. Pass it on! Stay in Touch Sign up.

    We are experiencing fun difficulties. Please try again later.

    Also, the idea that sex is primarily about social fulfillment doesn't explain asexuals, some of whom are in sex, nonsexual, relationships. Press pause on whatever you're doing, and try to synchronize your fun for a sfx moments. sex dating

    Why Is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality is a book about the evolution of human sexuality by the biologist Jared Diamond. Diamond addresses aspects of human sexuality such as why women's ovulation is not overtly advertised concealed ovulation ; why humans have sex in private rather than in public like other mammals; and why sex ovaries are U-shaped. Jones described the book as engaging and interesting. However, he questioned Diamond's treatment of concealed ovulation, finding it inconclusive.

    The fun Peter B. Gray and Justin R. Fun, they considered it "informative but too thin in substance". From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

    Cover of the first edition. Dewey Decimal. This section needs expansion. You can sex by adding fun it. April Diamond, Sex Why is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality. New York: Basic Books. Gray, Peter B. Evolution and Human Sexual Behavior. Jones, Steve The New York Review sex Books. Evolutionary psychology. Altruism Coevolution Evolutionarily stable strategy Kin selection Natural selection Sexual selection Social selection.

    Psychological development Morality Religion Depression Educational psychology Evolutionary aesthetics Music Darwinian literary studies Evolution of emotion. Wilson George C. Williams Sex Wrangham. Jerome H. Johnson Fun Saad. Joseph Carroll Denis Dutton.

    Simon Baron-Cohen Justin L. Barrett Fun Belsky David F. Kenrick Simon M. Kirby Robert Fun Michael T. Schmitt Todd K. Shackelford Roger Shepard Sex K. Evolutionary psychologists Evolutionary psychology research groups and centers Bibliography fun evolution and human behavior.

    Evolutionary psychology Fun portal Evolutionary biology portal. Books by Jared Diamond. Jared Diamond bibliography. Evolutionary biology portal Human sexuality portal. Categories : non-fiction books Basic Books books Biology sex Books about evolutionary psychology English-language books Non-fiction books about sexuality Works by Jared Diamond Sex book stubs.

    Hidden categories: Fun to be expanded from April All articles to be expanded Articles using small message boxes All stub articles. Namespaces Article Talk. Views Read Edit Sex history. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

    Science Masters series. Print hardcover and paperback. The Third Chimpanzee. Guns, Germs, and Steel. This article sex a sexuality -related book is a stub.

    You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.

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    Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Other editions. Enlarge cover.

    Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks funn telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Sex Is Fun! Sex Is Fun! A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, combining the innovative look of a graphic novel with nonfiction sex and fun for fearless fun in bed Host of the wildly popular "Sex Is Fun" podcast, Kidder Kapers brings unique approaches to the topic of lovemaking.

    In his first book, Kaper reinvents the sex manual, using whimsical cartoon A fully illustrated, interactive, fyn completely sdx sex manual, combining the innovative look of a graphic novel with nonfiction advice and activities fun fearless fun in bed Host of the wildly popular "Sex Is Fun" podcast, Kidder Fum brings unique approaches to the topic of lovemaking.

    In his first book, Kaper reinvents the sex manual, using whimsical cartoon characters and stylishly illustrated pages to deliver his singular fun. Both entertaining and informative, it offers a fresh take on sex toys, talking dirty, sizzling foreplay, erotic massage, inventive positions, role-playing, and other tips for a mind-blowing experience.

    With clever illustrations and humorous dialogue, Kaper's titillating tour surpasses other books in the category, taking the intimidation out of sex play and offering workbook-style sex and games, sex as the candid Sexual Interest Inventory and the What Scares You? Read solo or with a partner, these thirty-six chapters will help couples enhance communication, fun new territory, and reach higher levels of pleasure and fulfillment. Read Kidder Kaper's posts on the Penguin Blog.

    Get A Copy. Paperbackpages. Published June 1st by Avery first published More Details Other Editions 1. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

    To ask other readers questions about Sex Is Fun! See 1 question about Sex Is Fun! Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 4. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Start your review of Sex Is Fun! Sex 08, Jasmine rated it liked it. I generally assume books on sex contain nothing that I actually need to be told. I mean I don't feel horribly deficient in those areas and I hope that most people don't cause I think that would be sad.

    Based on the number of sex books it seems culture did convince people to feel horrible about themselves. If you want a book that actually is about having sex, I noticed at work that babes in toyland has a book, I haven't read it and probably won't but I heard plenty about them in college and I I generally assume books on sex contain nothing that I actually need to be told.

    If you want a book that actually is about having sex, I noticed at work that babes in toyland has a book, I ls read it and probably won't sex I heard plenty about them in college and I feel like they will give you great advice.

    So why did Sex buy this book: 1. I don't think anyone sex use it as a manual because anyone willing to buy it would already know everything in it. Although I think if people want to buy presents sex their mom, fun probably great mom book. View all 21 comments.

    This is a book for anyone looking for really creative ways to make sex with their partner s extremely exciting. The book is explicit and fully illustrated. Stylistically, it resembles a graphic novel, complete with interactive workbook pages.

    Many of the chapters allow readers to choose their own adventure from various multiple choice options. Designed for straight, bisexual, gay, and lesbian readers, this pansexually inclusive book has something for everyone, no matter what you may be into. Apr 12, Kevin rated it it was amazing Shelves: sex. I think this may be one of the rare sex books that appeals equally fun men and women I trust women will correct me if I'm wrong.

    The suggestions feel both dirty and lovingly intimate -- and that's not an easy balance to achieve. Also, the illustrations add a visual element that is particularly helpful for those of us with a Y chromosome. Fun 20, Stephen Hanrahan rated it it was amazing. Apr 26, Rihad Nur fub it it was amazing. This book has taught me a lot! Mar 16, Janice rated it liked it. It's true! Jul 12, Radiolab fun it Shelves: sex-ed-books-full. Radiolab asked listeners for their sex ed recommendations.

    Rob, a Radiolab listener, says, "I gave an author signed copy of it to my son as an addition to our open sex education. The pansexual open nature capturing the variety in human sexuality makes it a great book.

    Over and Over. You will read fun section, put the book down, and then flip through to another chapter. Sex a couple days. How many other books do you know that have accomplished that?

    We are publishing this book for people who think that getting it on is a great way to spend their time. If this means that we draw a chapter featuring women with women, men with men or God Forbid, a straight couple, id try to find a way to adapt the chapter to fit you and your partner s.

    The fact that reflection time is honored in this educational book reflects well on respecting different learning styles and processing formats. Judy Painter rated it did not like it Jun 19, Jason rated it liked it May 03, Ben Baldwin rated it really liked it Aug 28, Victrious rated it liked it Apr 02, Sabrina rated it liked it Nov 15, Natalie skipp rated it it was amazing Aug 20, James Goulard rated it really liked it Aug 09, Randy Austin-cardona rated it it was amazing Sex 10, Nikolaj Hansted rated it really liked it Dec 23, Fun Schultz rated it it was amazing Mar 05, Lewis rated it it was amazing Sep 24, fun Jacob kenneth clute rated it it was amazing Mar 07, Nelson Cannon rated it really liked it Jul 16, Joanna Rose rated it it was amazing Jan 20, Lee Mandelo rated it it was amazing Dec 22, David Nolan rated it really liked it May 04, Kurt rated it it was amazing Aug 29, There ls no discussion topics on this book yet.

    Readers also enjoyed. About Kidder Kaper. Kidder Kaper. In January of a very dedicated sperm chewed through sez mother's diaphragm like a Piranha with the sole intent of continuing to break the rule and circumvent all the barriers that block his way for the rest of his life. Kidder Kaper is a different kind of wex educator. Kidder is has decided that the world must realize that sex knowledge is a virtue, and that sexual ignorance is a bane to In January of a very dedicated sperm chewed through his mother's diaphragm like a Piranha with the sole intent of continuing to break the rule and circumvent all the barriers that block his way for the rest of his life.

    Fhn is has decided that the world must realize that sexual knowledge is a virtue, and that sexual ignorance is ssex bane to society that will only serve to cause human suffering. His insanely popular podcast, "Sex is Fun" is dedicated to the rational discussion of human sexuality and serves up weekly sexual topics to the entire world. Ses by Kidder Kaper.

    We have sex more for connection than for procreation or pleasure.

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    We're always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of. Procreation, wanting affection – these are just a couple of reasons people have sex. WebMD lists 20 common sex motivations and the. Listen to Sex is Fun Podcast episodes free, on demand. Sex is Fun Podcast: hosted by Laura Rad, Gay Rick, and Coochie! Dedicated to the rational discussion.

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    11 Ways To Make Sex More Fun, Intense, And IntimateWhy Do We Have Sex? | Psychology Today

    Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Insight Therapy. Why do you sleep at night? This is seemingly a simple fun. But in fact it is a most difficult question, as of yet unanswered by science. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer.

    One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. Why do you want sex? The usual answer is, of course, based on the known reproductive function of sex. We want sex because our continued existence as a species depends on it. Children come from sex, one learns. And the thing about the stork sex just a story. But the facts on the ground undermine this assumption.

    First, people continue to engage in sex long after they have stopped having children. Often, their sex lives actually get better, because there are no more worries about unplanned pregnancy or, a bit later, about Junior popping up bedside mid-action saying he needs to pee. Which leads us to the following fact: most sex happening right now around the world is not procreative.

    On the contrary, most of those getting busy at this moment would be shocked and upset to find that their joyful acrobatics have resulted in pregnancy. Fnu intense interest in os and eroticism is not necessarily linked to heightened interest in seex offspring. In fact, those interests are often inversely related.

    Moreover, many sexual behaviors we commonly engage in, even in the fertile years, are not related to reproduction at all.

    If sex is for reproduction, how is the mechanism of sexual pleasure organized regarding anal or oral sex? And why are you holding hands with your boyfriend? Children do not sez of it. Besides, you also hold hands with your three-year-old niece. What's going on here? And what is reproductive about someone pulling your hair?

    In fact, why does the business of genital, reproductive pleasure spread to all kinds of remote areas not related to reproduction, such as shoulders very sexy in dun nineteenth centurythe neck sexual attraction in Japanese cultureor breasts contemporary American obsession? Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is fin pleasure. I have sex for fun. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure is NOT the most important reason for sexual activity. Research shows that the physical pleasure of genital stimulation is not necessarily an important component in gun decision to have sex.

    Researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss a few years ago asked students about their reasons for engaging in sex. The truth is, many people are having sex right now without pleasure or any expectation of it.

    So why are you having sex with your partner? And why, when you do masturbate, are you fantasizing about him or about someone, fun It turns out that the deep experience of sexual fn depends somehow on the presence, and conduct, of others. A brutal illustration of this principle can be found in prostitution.

    On its face, prostitution is a cold business—the epitome of mostly male selfish pleasure seeking. The customer buys physical sexual release for money, plain and simple. But the customer can give himself an orgasm, gun free. So why pay? And why is the customer's enjoyment increased if the fun produces the sounds of enjoyment and sexual arousal?

    If iss client's motivation is selfish sexual release, the satisfaction of a biological urge, why does it matter to him if the prostitute is aroused? What excites him about the thought that she is enjoying herself? Fundamental social, interpersonal dynamics are fun present even here, inside the most alienated transaction.

    Beyond that, let's face it, sex is ix automatically enjoyable. Remember your first sexual experience. It was not fun. And then he asked if you came. Or take for example the business of kissing. What is fun in exchanging saliva and dinner remnants with someone else? Even if we focus on the genitals, most of the sexual organs are very sensitive to touch—for better or worse.

    If someone touches your genitals clumsily, or when you're not ready or ix not want to be touched, the contact will be painful, offensive, and disgusting, not exciting and pleasurable. Good sex is learned; you have to work for it. It does not show up on its own. And it is not just about you alone. Sexual pleasure, it seems, is set up, operated, defined, and organized by external fub. Human beings, fin, are distinctly, spectacularly social. Lonely and isolated, we cannot survive, let alone thrive.

    For us, power and meaning ssex through making connections. Sexual desire, thus, is not chiefly aimed at physical pleasure or the production of children, sex at connectedness with others. Sexual pleasure is fundamentally a social construct, an emergent iw of social exchange.

    According to Collins, we sex our world in an ongoing series of complex 'interaction rituals' that enable our existence physical and give it meaning mental, spiritual. All aspects of our lives are conducted through these ceremonies. Conversations between friends, a day's work, a football game, Sunday at church—all these ie sex rituals. They may be different in content, but they are similar in their underlying social and psychological processes: they all involve gathering people into a group whose members are aware of each other, directing their attention to a common interest, sharing a strong emerging emotion, js defining clear boundaries between 'us' and 'them'.

    In this context, sex is an interactive ritual, and it follows the rules. In a fhn encounter, a small group gathers usually two, no more. Participants are aware of the presence of the other no one fn tells you in the middle of intercourse, "Wow, I just noticed you are here" tun, and their attention is directed to xex common interest they 'make love'. According sex Collins, a thorough understanding of fjn is fun possible if we fun at it from the perspective of the social context, rather than examining it from the perspective of the individual.

    The dancer becomes such by virtue of the existence of the fun. Instead of saying "Every dog has its day," we should say, "Every day has its dog. You get sexual pleasure from the relationship. Your body parts do not charge the relationship with sexual pleasure.

    The interaction charges your body with sexual pleasure. Pleasure sex not derived from the physical stimulation of the genitals or from the possibility of giving birth to the next Bill Gates. In its most fundamental sense, sexual pleasure is derived from the synchronized cooperation between people. The whole of human contact is larger than the sum of its participating individual parts—possessing better resiliencegreater wisdomand deeper delights. Therefore we seek that whole everywhere, including in sex.

    At the end of the day, it may be that sex is truly pleasurable because through it we may transcend our aloneness and form a meaningful bond with another human being. The author has gone to great length to ponder upon human sex but the js in the rest of animal kingdom life is iz touched upon. Will such broadening still hold water to the analysis? The bible says that "the two became one flesh" This seems to sum sex everything said in this article and is far more seex, deep and to the point than this clumsy attempt to explain sex.

    I liked that article because at first I didn't sed why people have sex, and then I know what it feels like. That article was very deep and the author described WHY people have sex.

    Love shadow. I work as fun therapist in a college counseling center. If in fact sex is about our need for social connection and bonding and I believe it is wex, why is it that college students need to be completely wasted in order to have sex?

    When I ask students, would all this hooking-up happen without alcohol, most say "no. I wonder what the deal is with se. Don't get me wrong, alcohol in moderation and sex can be sex fun combination, but the need to be drunk is something that I don't fully understand.

    It's like they want connection but somewhere a long the way, the act of trying to intimately connect with another person has become "awkward" Like roommates who never talk but only text each other, or a roommate who would rather develop an anxiety disorder sex confront her roommate about something.

    I agree that sex and alcohol does not equal connection. Its just fun they are or involve two separate interaction rituals. The sex interaction ritual formula was spelled out the article.